Monday, May 11, 2026

Stories worth telling, except I’m not an orator: Chapter 5

 America the Beautiful

Long, long ago, in the days of steam gauges and paper sectionals (for you Gen Z pilots that means no glass cockpit, no iPad, no Foreflight), a few confident Navy commanders on the West coast laid down a challenge.

The year was 2008.  Each was responsible for 7-9 SH-60B aircraft.  Built in the early 1980s to dominate both the surface and depth of the oceans, the Sea Hawk carried radar, forward-looking infrared, electronic countermeasures, hellfire missiles, sonobuoys, 800 lbs of Atari-era processing equipment, torpedoes, a magnetic anomaly detector and a handful of flares – on a good day.


On an average day we carried maybe three of these things, no air conditioning, and whatever sound proofing panels remained from the aircraft’s youth.

Someone decided that the cutting-edge Osh Kosh Air Venture airshow might want to display these beauties and the gauntlet was thrown:  Which squadron could get two airworthy SH-60Bs from San Diego to Wisconsin?

I found myself leading the planning of this cross-country for our squadron.  We had recently received some kind of electric mapping software – most likely an early version of Foreflight – but no one really knows what it could do because the printer it came with never worked, therefore we could never get the information from the training room to the aircraft for practical use.

The training room did have, however, the gift of square footage.  And I happened to also be babysitting four midshipmen who were hoping to have their Top Gun dreams come true this very summer.

“You:  I need all of these chairs pushed to the edge of the room and stacked up.”
“You:  Find a yard stick.”
“You:  Find some working white board markers.”
“You:  Go find some tape.”

(Yes, I’ve been bossy since long before 2008, but I do get stuff done.)

I found all the sectionals needed for our route of flight and taped them together on the floor: One big map from California to Wisconsin.

Then we marked off 100 nautical miles on our yard stick and measured the distances required to steer South of the Rockies and stop for military contracted fuel every 3.5 hours along the way.  We called these out to the midshipman wielding the white board marker and each of them learned how to manually calculate time and fuel. 

Our squadron commander came in to see how the planning was going.  I sensed his surprise at my method and smelled skepticism over the JP-5 remnants baked into his flight suit.

I looked that man square in the eye and said, “Skipper, would you like to jump into the sectional with me – you know, like in Mary Poppins?”  And we walked together from San Diego to Osh Kosh, briefing every meticulous detail along the way. 

This planning was well worth the reward.  We swapped out crews in Wisconsin – and yes, both of our helicopters made it there in 2.5 days -  so I got to fly out commercial and pilot one of the aircraft 2.5 days home.  But not before spending a few awkward days at the air show with squeaky brakes, and two aircrewmen who were in the middle of some kind of ongoing Culver’s cheese curd eating contest between each other.  (Barf)

Our flight home began over the green farms of Wisconsin, then the helicopter route through Chicago – looking up at the Sears Tower – and state by state we watched America change landscape from less than 1,000 feet above ground level all the way home.  I remember when we left green behind us and flew over thousands of Texas oil rigs.  I remember what a bummer it is to get stuck in El Paso for weather.  I remember that I was a few months pregnant, and wasn't sure if I was going to keep flying as long as the flight doc said I could.  And I remember cutting through the desert mountains West of El Centro on the home stretch.

Less than three years later, pregnant a 2nd time, I was tracking flights and checking pilots in and out on the radio from my 9-month perch at the flight school duty desk.  The other pregnant female instructors (there’s a story for another chapter) and I had pretty much taken over the duty by that point to free up the guys for more flying.  It seemed to work out for everyone, given biology and the needs of the job.

A flight student walked through and gave me a double-take:  “Ma’am?  Were you stationed in San Diego?
…. Did you ever make midshipmen tape sectionals together on the floor and manually calculate time and fuel for 2,000 miles?
I was one of those mids.”