Original post: Oct 30, 2020
This seldom-enjoyed taste of beer sends me right back to the Yuengling tap at Whiting Field. I'm not a beer drinker - and the fact that this Belgian import just reminded me of Yuengling would make many the craft-connoisseur cringe - but I do credit these bitter bubbles for any bit of successful public speaking I've enjoyed in adulthood.
I'm rewinding the clock about a decade for this memory: The privilege of standing up with my flight students, at the end of the syllabus, and publicly roasting them in front of family and comrades. It terrified me every time, but a single solo cup of Yuengling later, I would consistently bring the room to tears. With a little help from props, some hilarious antics from which to choose, a healthy dose of genetic blessings, humility and a beer in the belly, the lesson is this:
1) Draught beer, in moderation = Easier public speaking.
I'm in a weird place. Not only am I on a weird staff*, and in a foreign country, trapped alongside you all in a pandemic, but I'm also in a weird place wondering "how did I get here?" and "where to next?" I've spent a career in the air and now I ride a pendulum between "I can make a difference" and unexpected kicks in the face.
(*Staff, in the Navy world, is the part of the bureaucracy that specifically supports the Admirals and their ability to execute decisions. The staff I'm on supports six Admirals, a very high-ranked civilian, and a political advisor from the State Department. They're all big deals.)
What better time than now to list some lessons learned thus far?
I'm not sure these will help anyone to be more successful in a military or civilian line of employment, or in a generic leadership or life-and-death endeavour, but who am I to be stingy?
Enjoy. Critique. These aren't all-inclusive, but most of them are fresh.
2) Find a trusted peer: Quickly.
Sometimes your job is hard. Sometimes people are dumb, and jerks. If you don't have the right person with whom to commiserate, or to bounce things off of, or to proofread what you think might be the perfect retort, work life can be very isolating and downright hopeless at times. This person might not even be in your organization: But chances are, someone out there is doing the same job somewhere else. Find them. Vent to them. Bring them freaking chocolate chip cookies.
3) People really don't like to hear that their 'stuff' is 'messed up.'
I had a Master Chief who used a different phrasing for this when he described me, his boss, with what sounded like affection. "Oh, she'll tell you when your 'stuff' is 'messed up'!"
This is all fun and games - and quite effective when properly delivered - if you're working with the salt of your trade. But at the higher levels, best to keep your mouth shut unless someone is really going to get hurt.
Don't like it? Move on and create a different dynamic in your start-up organization.
4) Get your butt home for dinner.
This is not original. I've heard this advice, and I've lived by it ever since I became a working mom. There will be days that demand it, but 29 days out of 30, I'm out the door by 5:00, ringer on silent once I pull up to my house.
Most of my "customers" are on time zones 6+ hours earlier than mine. I stopped answering e-mails after 4:30 p.m. on weekdays, and guess what happened: The expectation of immediate response after that time was quickly reduced.
The best part? The people who work for me have become more efficient and they're all home for dinner too.
5) Don't opt for the extra work phone.
Compartmentalize your work life. Also, see #4.
6) "Quick to listen, slow to speak."
I recently intercepted an e-mail from a subordinate, meant for someone else, dogging my organization and - bonus - assuming I'm a man. I've been sitting on this one for about 48 hours and have come up with several witty responses, none of which I've sent. I probably won't send any of them.
a) E-mail war is beneath you. E-mails can be kept forever!
b) James didn't mean for others' words to be held against them when he wrote this scripture. I know what I need to know about this young man (the e-mail author, not James), and now I know how much I can trust him the next time we work together.
(Plus, he'll probably figure out the intercept on his own in time, and the anticipation of retaliation may cause him protracted agony, which is better.)
7) Give the people who work for you the benefit of the doubt. But be careful who you choose to follow.
I've been commissioned in the Navy for 17 years and I still can't figure out who to look up to.
But the people for whom I'm responsible have never let me down.
I can't explain this one. The data speaks for itself.
8) Ignorance (and inexperience) really is bliss.
I can not count the number of times a scenario went down like this: Hairy situation in a helicopter with someone less experienced. After landing, I'm actively praying my thanks for another day on this earth, and the youngster says "That. Was. AWESOME!!!"
If you are currently ignorant, enjoy the bliss.
9) Garbage in equals garbage out, and Crossfit is good for you.
Yup. Work out until you pass out, but if you are eating and drinking whatever you want, you'll just be a strong frame under a layer of happy fat. Own it or change it.
Also, don't hate on a good Crossfit organization. I'm at my mental-health peak when I'm part of one.
10) Call your mom.
I can't get to mine. It's killing me.
More to follow; love to hear yours!
