My 14-year-old struck again with his profound insight.
Listening to me talk about the company I just began working for he asked, "Do you have a hard time being a follower?"
He was in luck because, unlike most of these stump-the-chump inquiries, I was prepared to answer this one since I'd been thinking on it for a while. (Years, actually.)
I replied, "I have no problem supporting a good leader. Following an idiot is torture for me."
I'd like to refine my response after an epiphany at Walmart yesterday.
Self-admittedly I have a hard time being a follower in a grocery store, or Home Depot, or basically any place with aisles, strangers and a cart. It's a poignant metaphor for one of my weaknesses, which is my difficulty going someone else's pace. This is probably why I'm not great with small children or the elderly.
I almost always have a moment behind the person pushing the cart during which I collect myself, take a breath, and practice literally going someone else's pace.
But have I let the leader off the hook?
In Walmart I was following the love of my life, who is an intelligent, capable, mobile person. He was politely dodging and weaving through the pinball customers at 'meth head Walmart*', slowing and stopping when necessary, and I marched single-file behind him in order to minimize the width of our combined path. After almost tripping on his heels once or twice I paused and took a breath and re-caged per my usual.
I recalled being in the back of every marching or running formation at USNA because that's where the short people go -- particularly challenging when the group speeds and slows like an accordion, forcing the sand blowers in the rear to make the largest adjustments to keep up (with our corresponding short legs).
In organizations, especially like the Navy Reserve Center I led in Knoxville, I call this "the tail of the whip." When decisions are made at the top, and changed, and changed again, the trickle-down effect can be dizzying and frustrating at the bottom.
So what is the role of the leader pushing the cart, or the leader driving the decisions at the top?
What is the role of middle management?
How do we minimize the potentially demoralizing effect of quick decision-making on those at the end of the chain?
I'm still learning the ins and outs of my new job and reading the room of personalities and leaders. We've got one in a particular role of influence who likes to 'plan' at the last minute, and then change the plan 15 times as he uncovers various angles, before making a decision. I figured out after my first rodeo with this person just to leave the room when this starts happening. My opinion isn't a factor so, if it concerns me, he knows where to find me - if needed - once the dust has settled.
Sadly, I'm learning that everyone feels dizzy when this person starts exploring courses of action.
Our forward, outside-the-box thinkers are invaluable (and I consider myself in this category).
But nimble, strategic thinking comes with responsibility.
I believe that the sharing - or not sharing - of a leader's thought process needs to be as deliberate as the decision-making itself. (I wrote some thoughts on this loaded statement but it's enough to fill another blog. Maybe it will.)
Disclaimer: Sometimes decisions need to be made quickly, and followers just need to follow. But it's the responsibility of the leader to build trust and buy-in before this moment arrives.
Some ways we can build trust are with a steady hand, clear and appropriate communication, and a self-awareness of the effects of our decisions on both outcomes and people.
A real challenge faced by CEOs and cart-pushers is balancing the outward-facing needs of the organization with the needs of the people who do the work on the inside. This is actually where VPs and middle management are supposed to step up.
Unfortunately, middle management gets a bad rap because, in this role, it's easy to settle in to mediocrity and inaction.
Middle managers are in a uniquely susceptible position:
A) They do not hold ultimate responsibility. If the thing fails, someone higher is going to take the blame.
B) It's easy for them to take the credit of their direct reports. If the product is shiny, they have the ability to take credit that isn't theirs.
I argue that middle management is perhaps the toughest place to lead and self-manage.
For the purpose of this entry, I propose that middle managers are responsible for damping the effects of change.
Damper: a device that reduces vibration ... like a car's shock absorber.
Not every member of your team needs to feel every unexpected turn and speed bump.
I also understand that not every member of a team is wired the same way. Some people value stability, others enjoy the thrill of unexpected change. The needs of people vary and - guess what - it's up to the leader to figure that out too.
This is the perfect thing to delegate to inward-facing middle management!
...I never suggested leadership was easy.
We all find ourselves in leadership positions, whether it's parenting, driving the single-file march through Walmart, or leading teams of any size. Leadership in any context shares a common thread: It comes with responsibility to its followers.
My revised response to the question, "Is it hard for you to be a follower?":
"Followership and obedience are two different things.
I will follow a leader who knows where they are going, has already earned my trust for those times they are unsure, and has the self-awareness and compassion to care about how their decisions affect those of us down the line.
I will tolerate and obey - to the extent of my obligation - anyone less."
... For the record, Andrew Kissell, I trust your intent when you are dodging and weaving through Walmart, and I'm happy follow behind.
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*'Meth head Walmart', affectionately nicknamed by me and my kids based on the clientele. We know you have a choice when you choose a Walmart. This one is really big and has groceries, so a visit is worth keeping a tight grip on my purse.
